Dear Patrick

I miss you so much my angel. I am so sorry that I couldn't save you. Im sorry that I couldn't keep you from coming early. When you were born,you were the tiniest,most perfect living doll I had ever seen. Even with the tubes and wires,you were beautiful. As i sat by your bed for the days in the hospital,i marveled at your tiny hands,your perfect feet. You made the funniest faces when the nurses would change your IV,or when your diaper was changed....you balled up your little fist and started making a face like you were going to cry. You got so mad. You were born so small,but so strong. You bareley needed the vent,and you let evryone know it. When I held you for the first time,those were the best 3 hours of my life....it was as if time itself stood still..the noises of the NICU ceased to exist,and it was just me and you. I remember your weight,your feel,and your smell. You loved being held. Daddy never got to hold you,but he was in awe of you when he first saw you. when he touched your feet,you curled your toes around his fingertip and wouln't let go. Evry time i loook at your daddy,i see you...you had his nose,mouth and chin...his feet his hairline...evrything

i would give anything i have to have you back.